Typos in the new edition

Feedback on the new edition of Horror on the Orient Express and discussion about the campaign. Spoilers abound, so be aware!
GreveMagnus
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Re: Typos in the new edition

Post by GreveMagnus » Tue Jan 28, 2014 11:39 am

Book IV, p.153, under TURNING ON THE TAPS: "When the character retires to freshen-up, they turn on the water taps to find thick blood pouring out, filling the bowl" should be "When a character retires to freshen-up ..."

Under Running Events To The Conclusion: "Following are the key events that take place during Day 4 and 5 ..." should be "Following are the key events that take place during Days 4 and 5 ..."

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Re: Typos in the new edition

Post by GreveMagnus » Tue Jan 28, 2014 11:42 am

Book IV, p. 154: "Keepers are at liberty to time events more quickly or slowly as a consequence of the player characters’ reaction to the situation, the murders, and other NPCs" should be "Keepers are at liberty to time events more quickly or slowly as a consequence of the player characters’ reactions to the situation, the murders, and other NPCs."

"Going outside to see if the Salon car has been de-coupled from the rest of the train..." 'Decoupled' doesn't need a hyphen.

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Re: Typos in the new edition

Post by GreveMagnus » Tue Jan 28, 2014 11:45 am

Book IV, p.155: "The window has been left open (perhaps the murderer's exit?)" This sentence lacks a full stop.

Below that, "The body is mess of stab wounds and, without needing to move the bed linen, observers note that Walters’ right arm has also been cut off (Sanity loss 1/1D4)" should be "The body is a mess of stab wounds and, without needing to move the bed linen, observers note that Walters’ right arm has also been cut off (Sanity loss 1/1D4)."

Further down, "If questioned further, Dr. Wyss surmises that the murder was right-handed and must have been known to both Roti and Walters, as they must have granted the murderer access to their rooms" should be "If questioned further, Dr. Wyss surmises that the murderer was right-handed and must have been known to both Roti and Walters, as they must have granted the murderer access to their rooms."

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Re: Typos in the new edition

Post by GreveMagnus » Tue Jan 28, 2014 11:49 am

Book IV, p.158: "Wilson will attempt to lure Antin to a more private location, either on the train or off it, by leaving another anonymous letter for her—see Modern Handout #5—possibly shoved under her cabin door during the confusion of the morning)." This sentence ends with a closing bracket, but there is no corresponding open bracket.

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Re: Typos in the new edition

Post by GreveMagnus » Tue Jan 28, 2014 11:55 am

Book IV, p.160, under Victim 6: "If Milton is repelled and feels he has bitten-off more than he can chew, he will try to escape and find another victim as quickly as possible." You don't need a hyphen in 'bitten off'.

Below, under Milton Creates The Gate: "He requires one hour to cast the Gate spell, and is want to do this without being caught, and so he prays to Nyarlathotep for aid" should be "He requires one hour to cast the Gate spell, and wants to do this without being caught, and so he prays to Nyarlathotep for aid."

The next sentence has some misplaced quotation marks. They should surround the phrase "Leaving the Train - Following the Train Track".

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Re: Typos in the new edition

Post by GreveMagnus » Tue Jan 28, 2014 12:02 pm

Book IV, p.161: "...then the soldiers are probably fighting off advances by the player characters..." should be "...in which case the soldiers are probably fighting off advances by the player characters ..."

Under Showdown At The Shunned Mosque: "The passengers each lose two magic points for using the Gate and arrive at 03.00am in the Main Hall of the Shunned Mosque." if you're using the 24-hour clock, you don't need to specify whether its am or pm. "03.00" is sufficient.

"What windows there are, are boarded up such that it is impossible to decipher whether it is day or night." This sentence reads awkwardly and the word 'decipher' feels inappropriate. I would rewrite it: "The few existing windows are boarded up, making it impossible to tell whether it is day or night."

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Re: Typos in the new edition

Post by GreveMagnus » Tue Jan 28, 2014 12:09 pm

Book IV, p.162: "In the niche directly in front of the passengers is the dead-eyed head of the six and final victim. Call for Sanity checks if the six victim’s body had not previously been discovered (Sanity loss 1/1D4+1)" should be "In the niche directly in front of the passengers is the dead-eyed head of the sixth and final victim. Call for Sanity checks if the sixth victim’s body had not previously been discovered (Sanity loss 1/1D4+1)."

"He stands within a circle that looks to have been created from his own blood." I would change this to "He stands within a circle that seems to have been created from his own blood."

Under THE MEAT SIMULACRUM, "Each body part rises as if on invisible hands ..." would be clearer if it said "Each body part rises as if held by invisible hands ..."

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Re: Typos in the new edition

Post by GreveMagnus » Tue Jan 28, 2014 12:16 pm

Book IV, p.163, under Possibilities: "Perhaps one day to return and seek revenge?" This isn't a complete sentence. I suggest removing the question mark and joining it with the previous sentence: "If wounded and reduced to half or fewer hit points, it will attempt to flee if able, perhaps one day to return and seek revenge."

Under Conclusion: "However eventually, the Orient Express passengers will be allowed to go and their respective embassies will arrange for their return home." This looks like a misplaced comma. Should be "However, eventually the Orient Express passengers will be allowed to go and their respective embassies will arrange for their return home."

Below that, "In time, city officials will tear-up Milton’s contract and the Shunned Mosque will finally be torn down." 'Tear up' doesn't need a hyphen.

Under Rewards, "Prevented Milton from completing all six murders" should be "Preventing Milton from completing all six murders". Likewise, "Prevented Milton killing himself and completing the Ritual of Enactment" should be "Preventing Milton killing himself and completing the Ritual of Enactment".

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Re: Typos in the new edition

Post by GreveMagnus » Tue Jan 28, 2014 12:19 pm

Book IV, p.164, under JOHN WALTERS: "Traits – Always late, day-dreams a lot." 'Daydreams' is just one word, without hyphen.

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Re: Typos in the new edition

Post by GreveMagnus » Tue Jan 28, 2014 12:22 pm

Book IV, p.167: "Personal Description – Tanned, rake-thin, blue eyed, turns all the ladies heads" should be "Personal Description – Tanned, rake-thin, blue eyed, turns all the ladies' heads."

Below, under Rene Violet: "His job with the OE is as near to perfect as it
is possible" should be "His job with the OE is as near to perfect as possible." Remove 'it is'.

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