People in Philippines?

alpope23 · Post by **alpope23** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 4:13 am

I'm heading down to the PI, Manila area for a short vacation in Mid July. Any Gamers there want to hook up for some drinking and talk? Any locations for gaming shops?

Nvision · Post by **Nvision** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 2:51 pm

Please be wary of Tiyanak while you're there! Thanks to Dr. Gerard for making travel increasingly terrifying...

Thomas R. Knutsson · Post by **Thomas R. Knutsson** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 3:35 pm

If Cracked.com is to be belived, beware of The Jolly Bee (Jollibee).

As if the jeepneys and petty cabs weren't enough to worry about, the islands still posses a creature of pure evil, a bastion of hate, proof there can be no loving God. It is a beast of many names, The Desolate One, The Eater of Unborns, Beelze-Bee, but most recognizably, The Jolly Bee.

He will come for you and your loved ones in the night and do terrible things until you beg and pleade for the sweet release of death. Jollibee is a Filipino fast food joint that is rediculously popular. The food is good for when you are stupid drunk and need to chow down or for when you are feeling the need to shit dark matter. All of the "Yum Burgers" Jollibee offers taste incredibly sweet, I was told this is because Filipinos have a much sweeter palate then we in the U.S. Also each "Yum Burger" has everyones favorite, liquid cheese, on it. But to be perfectly fair, the "Chicken Joy" is pretty good, but then again, its hard to fuck up fried chicken. The main thing about Jollibee is not that it is awful food per se, it is the Bee itself. JUST LOOK AT THE COCKSUCKER! He hates you, he wants to use your soul as a jizz rag. His lifeless eyes cut through your very being. No known weapon can kill the Jolly Bee, and many brave men have met a horrible end trying to stop his symphony of onslaught. And we, my fellow Americans, are not safe. He has even spread out from the islands and has landed in America, OUR America. Daly City, San Francisco, San Jose, Vallejo, Concord, Los Angelas. The Jolly Bee has invaded California, who knows where he may move next.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/funny-4640-phili ... z2X9C4tiGn

And never finish your meal.
http://www.cracked.com/article_16335_7- ... rseas.html

Dr. Gerard · Post by **Dr. Gerard** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 4:49 pm

Thomas R. Knutsson wrote:If Cracked.com is to be belived, beware of The Jolly Bee (Jollibee).
As if the jeepneys and petty cabs weren't enough to worry about, the islands still posses a creature of pure evil, a bastion of hate, proof there can be no loving God. It is a beast of many names, The Desolate One, The Eater of Unborns, Beelze-Bee, but most recognizably, The Jolly Bee.

He will come for you and your loved ones in the night and do terrible things until you beg and pleade for the sweet release of death. Jollibee is a Filipino fast food joint that is rediculously popular. The food is good for when you are stupid drunk and need to chow down or for when you are feeling the need to shit dark matter. All of the "Yum Burgers" Jollibee offers taste incredibly sweet, I was told this is because Filipinos have a much sweeter palate then we in the U.S. Also each "Yum Burger" has everyones favorite, liquid cheese, on it. But to be perfectly fair, the "Chicken Joy" is pretty good, but then again, its hard to fuck up fried chicken. The main thing about Jollibee is not that it is awful food per se, it is the Bee itself. JUST LOOK AT THE COCKSUCKER! He hates you, he wants to use your soul as a jizz rag. His lifeless eyes cut through your very being. No known weapon can kill the Jolly Bee, and many brave men have met a horrible end trying to stop his symphony of onslaught. And we, my fellow Americans, are not safe. He has even spread out from the islands and has landed in America, OUR America. Daly City, San Francisco, San Jose, Vallejo, Concord, Los Angelas. The Jolly Bee has invaded California, who knows where he may move next.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/funny-4640-phili ... z2X9C4tiGn
And never finish your meal.
http://www.cracked.com/article_16335_7- ... rseas.html

The article failed to mention the most insidious devil-nectar topping on a Jollibee burger: something called Banana Ketchup...

alpope23 · Post by **alpope23** » Sat Jul 06, 2013 7:34 am

I just saw Jollibee has a mango-peach pie!

I'm on the mo-fo!!!

Dr. Gerard · Post by **Dr. Gerard** » Sun Jul 07, 2013 3:16 am

alpope23 wrote:I just saw Jollibee has a mango-peach pie!

I'm on the mo-fo!!!

Eat it! And have a blast in Phils!

Dr. Gerard · Post by **Dr. Gerard** » Sun Jul 07, 2013 3:17 am

But do not eat anything called a balut. Unless you are hoping for a very Lovecraftian snack.

Thomas R. Knutsson · Post by **Thomas R. Knutsson** » Sun Jul 07, 2013 4:10 pm

Dr. Gerard wrote:But do not eat anything called a balut. Unless you are hoping for a very Lovecraftian snack.

Looked it up on Wikipedia, and now it might take a whole lot of time before I can eat an egg again. I'm afraid I will get a nasty surprise. That wasn't exactly a Kinder Egg surprise I would like to have. Balut would fit on the SAN check gallery thread, because I just botched my sanity roll.

Dr. Gerard · Post by **Dr. Gerard** » Mon Jul 08, 2013 3:28 am

Dude. I was on an overnight train once in Vietnam, and shared a very crowded sleeper compartment with a family. The father in the family was happy to have a drinking buddy, so he kept buying beers. Then, a cart with steam coming out of it came by, and he asked me if I was hungry (between English and a very bad phrasebook, we spoke about 10 words in common). I said yes, and soon there was a plate full of these eggs in front of me. He said they were only good with beer. I opened one, and I saw the feathers. I had heard about them before. I closed my eyes and bit into one. After biting down hard on something hard, I pulled a little bit of something out of my mouth. A tiny beak.

I ate three more, and drank a lot of beer to keep it down.

Thomas R. Knutsson · Post by **Thomas R. Knutsson** » Mon Jul 08, 2013 3:32 pm

Dr. Gerard wrote:Dude. I was on an overnight train once in Vietnam, and shared a very crowded sleeper compartment with a family. The father in the family was happy to have a drinking buddy, so he kept buying beers. Then, a cart with steam coming out of it came by, and he asked me if I was hungry (between English and a very bad phrasebook, we spoke about 10 words in common). I said yes, and soon there was a plate full of these eggs in front of me. He said they were only good with beer. I opened one, and I saw the feathers. I had heard about them before. I closed my eyes and bit into one. After biting down hard on something hard, I pulled a little bit of something out of my mouth. A tiny beak.

I ate three more, and drank a lot of beer to keep it down.

Dude, you should be on Fear Factor.