Sat Feb 06, 2016 9:42 am by Tore
The "Why don't our phones work NOW you bastard?"-table
1: Solar flare or freak weather.
2: The tower is too far away.
3: The tower is down. They're working on it. Promiz.
4: Coverage sucks.
5: “This is a notorious dead zone, city slicker”.
6: Radiation from power lines.
7: Fairy ring/alien structure/thin reality (Roll 1d6) 1-2: The call goes to the wrong place, 3-4: the call goes to the wrong time, 5: The call goes to a Numbers Station, 6: The call goes to the wrong kind of entity (!!!)
8: Natural and man-made structures impede the signal. It could be those pine trees and the scenic waterfall, or just a bunch of tower blocks full of demonic hoodies.
9: Those batteries drain fast. Spooky fast...
10: Deliberately jammed by bastards. That's illegal! Call the po-no, wait.
11: Neighboring cells with the same frequency interfere with your signal.
12: Overload. Do you think you're the only one calling for help?
Where Yig doth tread no man treads tomorrow.
Reeking death, harvest of humans in hatred.
Suck on the shitbag of what you created, what we created.
Yig now incoming, Yig now is here.
Yig he makes everything impossibly queer.